Conflicts and Past Decisions
by thekatqueen
Summary: ***CAUTION!*** ***SPOILERS FOR ACT 6 INTERMISSION 5*** Terezi takes a long walk to think through some tough feelings. Her feet take her to the door leading to Karkat Vantas; the troll she's hurt time and time again. Has a bit of Dave/Terezi sadstuck as well as a little tiny bit of blackrom Gamzee/Terezi, but mostly Terezi/Karkat sadstuck


This has been posted on AO3 by the same name.

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Her trusty cape hung from her shoulders, hood up. She trudged down the hall, feet dragging. Dave's voice rung in her head.

"Sorry Tez. I'm not a troll. I'm not used to quadrants, and I don't know if I ever will be."

Pyralsprite was in her hand, at her side. She brings her up and squishes her to her chest. The white dragon squeaks in protest.

"I'm human and I don't like seeing my girl sneak off to go make out with another dude, even if it is out of hate."

She feels her breath hitch and a tightening begin to form in her chest.

"I don't think we should keep seeing each other. I still like you but, shit, I can't do this. Sorry."

A drop of warm liquid slithers down her cheek. She sniffles quietly. Grabbing the edge of her cape and bringing it up to her face, wiping her cheeks and nose.

She was hunched over in defeat. She had seen it was coming. She saw it, but did nothing to stop it. She should have stopped seeing Gamzee,but she couldn't help it. Every time she even thought of the purple-blooded clown, she couldn't help but feel the slow-burning hate fester deep in her heart. But why should she feel bad? She was a troll and in her society, having a matesprit and kismesis at the same time wasn't a bad thing. Hell, it was encouraged. But she couldn't help but feel like she was in the wrong here.

She continued down the hall, guilt and grief weighing heavy in her heart. She didn't know where she was headed, her feet taking her where they pleased. When a faint splash of cherry red interrupted her thoughts, she looked up. She was standing in front of Karkat's respiteblock. She looked up and smelled the hasty scrawl of his full name, written in Alternian. It was mid-day, so he was probably up. Not that he ever slept, anyways.

She paused. Should she knock? She knew he still had feelings for her, and she'd be lying if she said she didn't reciprocate. She still felt red for him, even when she was with Dave. She had pushed him out of her thoughts at the time, but couldn't stop him from now springing back to the forefront of her mind.

He was almost always in a bad mood, shouting about the stupidity of all life or whatever. But what she really loved was when he calmed down and talked at a normal volume. It didn't happen often, and she only saw this side of him when they were alone. He would lower his voice and it proved to be one of the most soothing sounds she had ever heard. She ached to hear it again, to let it release the weight holding down her heart. But as she lifted her hand, she couldn't bring herself to rap her knuckles against the cold metal. Gamzee told her he had broken things off with Karkat a while ago. He felt it was the best for both of them, but Terezi never missed the sadness in Karkat's eyes when he heard a distant honk. She knew he was hurting, but what could she do to help?

She retracted her hand, pulling it back to her side. She messed up everything she touched, and she didn't want to see him hurt anymore, especially because of her decisions. She glanced forlornly at the door, remembering what she could have had. He had believed he had already fucked everything up between them, and she had let him get away. She was such an idiot.

As much as she wanted to see him and let him know how she truly felt, she couldn't. She couldn't just dump her problems on him. This had to be a weight that she alone would bear. So instead, she turned and continued down the hall, turquoise liquid still running down her cheeks.

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Hi! Just a couple more before I get caught up!

If you spot anything that should be fixed, changed, or improved upon, let me know! Any constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

thekatqueen

p.s. My tumblr is land-of-spirit-and-shadows. Follow me, and it'll keep you updated on all my new pieces, and you can read a couple of my little drabbles that I don't post on here or AO3!


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